Titles by Imprint
Category: Humour
Lies And Truths Ma Mother Telt Me!
Your Scottish Mother's Favourite Sayings
By Allan MorrisonAllan Morrison has again scoured the hearts and minds of Scots at home and abroad to bring this hilarious compilation of sayings which reveal the inner workings of that most formidable of personalities ... your mother! Over 350 lies and 250 truths are here and when you utter them you should have a scowl on your face and a lump in your throat!
Here are some examples:
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE AH'LL PAWN YE AN' SELL THE TICKET!
IF YE GIVE ME ANOTHER DIRTY LOOK YER FACE WILL LOOK LIKE LAST YEAR'S RHUBARB!
YE WON'T BE HAPPY TILL YER GREETIN'.
A WEE BIRDIE TOLD ME.
EAT YER CRUSTS AN' YE’LL GET CURLY HAIR.
THE NURSE BROUGHT YOU IN HER WEE BLACK BAG.
YE DON'T NEED TAE BRUSH ALL YER TEETH. JIST THE WANS YE WANT TAE KEEP.
NO, I WASN'T LOOKING THROUGH YOUR DRAWERS. I WAS JUST PUTTING AWAY YOUR CLEAN UNDERWEAR.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BEDROOM FLOOR? I CAN'T FIND IT.
YER CONSCIENCE IS THE WEE INNER VOICE YE HEAR WHEN AH'M LOOKIN' AT YE.
Key Features
Another surefire comic bestseller from Allan Morrison.
About the Author
About Allan Morrison
Allan Morrison was the HR Director at IBM in Greenock until he retired. He is Scotland's bestselling humour author and is also a popular after-dinner speaker. He lives on shores of the Firth of Clyde.All Titles by Allan Morrison
Allan Morrison has also written:
- AULD LANG SYNE!
- AWAY AN' ASK YOUR MOTHER!
- CUMMOANGETAFF!
- DEAD JAMMY!
- Haud Yer Wheesht!
- LAUGH SCOTLAND!
- LIES AND TRUTHS MA MOTHER TELT ME!
- Oor Wee School Wis a Rare Wee School!
- SEE YOU, JIMMY!
- YE CANNAE SHOVE YER GRANNY AFF A BUS!
- AWAY AN' ASK YOUR MOTHER!
- CUMMOANGETAFF!
- Haud Yer Wheesht!
- LAUGH SCOTLAND!
- LIES AND TRUTHS MA MOTHER TELT ME!
- YE CANNAE SHOVE YER GRANNY AFF A BUS!
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